Thursday 28 August 2008

Living in the Power of Now

In my search for spirituality, I've come to another milestone. I've discovered Eckhart Tolle and the nondual spiritual teachings. And I have to say wow!
I have read both The Power of Nowand New Earthand started listening to some of Eckhart's audios, and I really enjoy them. These books are some that will stay in my personal collection, as I want to read them again later on.
Basically ET is showing the way to live in the now through a few different 'ways'. One is through being the watcher. The watcher of your thoughts and emotions, a non-judgemental watcher, which allows one to see their ego in action. By this the action of the ego (the false 'I') will be diminished, as it is recognised for what it is.
Or to simply live in the present, and not dwelve in the past of worry about the future. Easier said than done, I admit it as well. Even ET says that it doesn't have to happen all at once. First it will be a glimpse as to what the silence, quietness of the present moment will show you: the peace, joy of simply being. This will pass though and the ego-filled thoughts (I love how he calls the ego the 'drama queen', which indeed, that's what 'she' is) will return with a vengeance. However once you've glimpsed that 'satori', you will swing between the now and your usual worldly self, until more and more the now will be your usual self.
How to do that though? Basically be very attentive to the now, to what you're doing right now, at this moment. And whenever you notice your mind chatter returning, again return to the now, put your whole attention to the now.
Like I said, it is not easy. However I did notice a few small changes in myself.
So far the most 'changes' in me I've noticed when I'm alone. When I'm engaged with somebody else in a conversation, a fight of the egos, or anything, I still can't let go of my ego, and still get myself rilled up with thoughts and feelings that are 'combatant' in nature. But at least now while I'm doing it, I tend to notice it. Still haven't learned once I notice it, how to let go of being defensive, or in a fightful mode, of fearful mode or anything unusual that I am at the moment, but I am noticing it.
But when I'm alone, it's getting different. Until recently, when I was alone, I was constantly plagued by worry, sadness, or other negative feelings about the past or the future, by things like 'hm, I'm sure my boss thinks of me that I'm an idiot, or worthless, or ... add your own deplenishing attributes here... because of this or that what I've done. Or, tomorrow I'll have to do this and that, and suddenly the anxiety would grip my chest.
I've notice though that since very recently, if I'm alone, I'm more in the now, when I start worrying, thinking about past, or future, it's more easy now to return to the present, and feel content again. I just shrug the worry off for now.
Or after a meeting with the boss (which usually leaves me very anxious and drained), I bounce back much faster, sometimes in a matter of a couple of minutes. I detach myself of my feelings and thoughts, and notice that this is just one of the things in life that I went through, it's over now, and in the large scheme of things, it's such a small petty thing that it's really worthless. And then I feel a sense of ... don't know how to explain it, a sense of joy, calm, and almost happiness that I know all is ok. And this nice feeling I'm getting it lately more and more often. With sad interruptions from my ego, of course, but hey, it's a start :)

2 comments:

I would recommend "Flowering of Human Consciousness" on DVD. There is something more gained by watching Eckhart on video.

"Still haven't learned once I notice it, how to let go of being defensive, or in a fightful mode, of fearful mode or anything unusual that I am at the moment, but I am noticing it."

Instead of trying to get rid of it, accept 'what is' fully. Accept it as it is for as long as it is...and just be aware of it and what is going. When the light of awareness is on the situation, it changes of its own accord.

Hi Marika,

This guy sounds interesting and I know I have heard the name mentioned in some other books I have read.

I think I will add these to my reading list. They sound very interesting and helpful.