The Path of the Soul

Since I've read The Power of Nowby ET, which really opened my eyes a bit more to what else is out there and can be experienced, I've felt much more calmer, compared to 'before'. At home, at work, in whatever I've been doing, many times I kept myself in the 'now', in the present, watched the ego, noticed some rather negative aspects of myself, did some work on it and it all felt good, you know, just right. Through ETs work I've come to learn of Byron Katie's work and last night I watched some of the videos of her work, that I've found on the net. Although I don't completely agree with everything that I've seen, most of it makes a lot of sense to me. Last night while watching her in action with a girl who's life was really wretched by her jealousy, by the end of the session, I was crying along with the girl. It was quite liberating, and I was really moved. For me it was a moment that I will always remember, as a positive moment.
Today I was searching the net on Byron Katie's work, as I didn't have much info about it except the small videos I've seen, and at some point, I landed at a blog which basically bashes gurus. First I didn't realise what was going on, but I kept on reading. The actual blog post was not so bad, but while reading the comments (there were many!), I've started noticing in myself a huge change. Basically most of the comments were very negative, calling her a cult leader, and what not, talking about how much money she makes out of her workshops, how phoney she is, how she's had face lifts and all that. I started noticing my own feelings and thoughts while reading all this. On one hand, I was very curious and the drama queen in me pushed me to read more. I was suddenly really drawn into all this cult leader bashing, on the negativity, poison that was talked with in those comments. By the time I finished reading through all the comments, I was very negative myself, ready to drop everything. I mean how can she be so rich, so not real, so much with a god complex, yadayada, and yadayada again... Gone were my tranquil, calm thoughts from before, gone was my peace. My ego was back with a vengeance, and enjoying it too.
Out of curiosity, I checked out that blog for ET, and whadyathink, there he is, in more than one posts. It was said that his teachings are nothing new under the earth, that he doesn't know what he's talking about, that he's a New Ager, he's just out to make money and fame, he's also a cult leader (!), but of the quieter type, that wow he has a mansion, a summer house or whatever, which deeply contradicts with letting go of everything....
By now you see a pattern, right? Negativity, jealousy, envy, anger, destructive emotions that poison one's well being. That's how I was after reading through this blog.
I mean I was so reeled up that I actually wanted to google ET's house, to see is he really that rich now? (and does it really matter??)
Once I left that site, I started thinking (yes, thinking, even though one should not do too much of it, lol). I thought of how I felt before, and how I thought after. How calm and relatively peaceful I was before, and how depressed, negative I became after reading that blog.
Yes, there might be in all truth some valid points regarding the lives of these spiritual teachers, or what they teach, but in the end, what is really better? a teacher that reaches millions of people who become even just a bit 'better', calmer, more peaceful, and some even maybe - maybe reach enlightenment, or a blog driven by ego, intent on 'showing it to all of us how it all really is', making everything that's positive into a brutal negative?
Eckhart Tolle for me is more like the beginning, not the end. Through is work, I've opened my eyes to something that I was searching for. Strange that just a few weeks before reading the Power of Now, I've posted in a spirituality forum a question regarding how to let go of one's ego. I asked, and I was given. Through ET, I've found Bryan Katie, and I'm sure I'll find more and I'm really looking forward to this new twist in my spiritual journey.
If watching the ego return after reading that blog was not an eye opener, I don't know what else was.
If you want to get a glimpse into Byron Katie's amazing work, read Byron Katie, Loving what Is, you won't regret it.

In my search for spirituality, I've come to another milestone. I've discovered Eckhart Tolle and the nondual spiritual teachings. And I have to say wow!
I have read both The Power of Nowand New Earthand started listening to some of Eckhart's audios, and I really enjoy them. These books are some that will stay in my personal collection, as I want to read them again later on.
Basically ET is showing the way to live in the now through a few different 'ways'. One is through being the watcher. The watcher of your thoughts and emotions, a non-judgemental watcher, which allows one to see their ego in action. By this the action of the ego (the false 'I') will be diminished, as it is recognised for what it is.
Or to simply live in the present, and not dwelve in the past of worry about the future. Easier said than done, I admit it as well. Even ET says that it doesn't have to happen all at once. First it will be a glimpse as to what the silence, quietness of the present moment will show you: the peace, joy of simply being. This will pass though and the ego-filled thoughts (I love how he calls the ego the 'drama queen', which indeed, that's what 'she' is) will return with a vengeance. However once you've glimpsed that 'satori', you will swing between the now and your usual worldly self, until more and more the now will be your usual self.
How to do that though? Basically be very attentive to the now, to what you're doing right now, at this moment. And whenever you notice your mind chatter returning, again return to the now, put your whole attention to the now.
Like I said, it is not easy. However I did notice a few small changes in myself.
So far the most 'changes' in me I've noticed when I'm alone. When I'm engaged with somebody else in a conversation, a fight of the egos, or anything, I still can't let go of my ego, and still get myself rilled up with thoughts and feelings that are 'combatant' in nature. But at least now while I'm doing it, I tend to notice it. Still haven't learned once I notice it, how to let go of being defensive, or in a fightful mode, of fearful mode or anything unusual that I am at the moment, but I am noticing it.
But when I'm alone, it's getting different. Until recently, when I was alone, I was constantly plagued by worry, sadness, or other negative feelings about the past or the future, by things like 'hm, I'm sure my boss thinks of me that I'm an idiot, or worthless, or ... add your own deplenishing attributes here... because of this or that what I've done. Or, tomorrow I'll have to do this and that, and suddenly the anxiety would grip my chest.
I've notice though that since very recently, if I'm alone, I'm more in the now, when I start worrying, thinking about past, or future, it's more easy now to return to the present, and feel content again. I just shrug the worry off for now.
Or after a meeting with the boss (which usually leaves me very anxious and drained), I bounce back much faster, sometimes in a matter of a couple of minutes. I detach myself of my feelings and thoughts, and notice that this is just one of the things in life that I went through, it's over now, and in the large scheme of things, it's such a small petty thing that it's really worthless. And then I feel a sense of ... don't know how to explain it, a sense of joy, calm, and almost happiness that I know all is ok. And this nice feeling I'm getting it lately more and more often. With sad interruptions from my ego, of course, but hey, it's a start :)