The Path of the Soul

Astral projection is not as easy as I first thought. It's actually more difficult to attain than a lucid dream, so I've decided to first practice to attain lucidity during my dreams before going back to AP.

One of the first things I'm doing is learning to have a better dream recall. So I've started a new dream journal over at DreamViews. I don't feel like starting a new blog only for my dream journal. Let's see how I progress over time.

So far I've only tried lucid dreaming for the last 3 nights and a few times during afternoon naps. I do get to a state where I feel tingling and numbness in my body, but I have yet to experience sleep paralysis (SP). Working towards that.

I've been trying unsuccessfully to astral project for a long time now, using product after product and method after method. Unfortunately except the Hemi-Synch which did "something" (but not much), everything else was really useless for me.

A few days ago I got in the post William Buhlman's latest set of CDs called How to have an out of body experience (check out the link if you want to see what is all about with the full description of the program), and finally last night when I went to bed, I popped in the first CD and started listening to it.

William Buhlman was actually the first who got me interested in astral projection with his book Adventures Beyond the Body, a book which I treasure even now.

So I've started listening to the first CD, where Buhlman was talking about his first AP experience, was giving the list of what you can feel as you're getting closer to have an out of body experience and the last track was a 30 minutes visualization exercise.

While listening and following this exercise track, my body started to feel first twitchy, then I felt a light tingling all over the body. Then it became lighter somehow (part of the exercise was to imagine we're floating on a cloud) and eventually the body started to feel heavier, and sinking in the mattress.

And then I heard a loud pop in my ears like a cork being pulled out of a bottle. Sadly this brought me out of trance but boy I was so happy: these were the exact "symptoms" that Buhlman listed in one of the previous tracks on this CD, right down to the popping in the ear.

I knew I was closer to an AP than ever before. And this was only an exercise for practicing visualization, it was not the 'real deal' yet.

Now I can't wait to start listening to the rest of the CD and practicing with one of the methods Buhlman describes in the CDs.

I've read at the Astral Pulse forum a while ago (and even Buhlman mentioned) that not every technique or method works with everyone. You have to try to find the one that works best for you. So far it seems I've been trying the wrong techniques - for example listening to any form of Binaural Beats seem to cause me headaches.

But the guided voice is what really seems to mostly resonate with me, so I'll keep on using the Buhlman CDs and report back on how I got on. I can't wait to have my first real astral projection!

I haven't had a Reiki session in really a long time, maybe longer than a year. For some unknown reason, I've decided to give myself a Reiki treatment and it felt really great. The energy started really flowing and I really enjoyed it. Wondering why I stopped with it in the first place.

After my Reiki treatment, I remembered having learned from William Lee Rand in his The Reiki Touch home study course to send Reiki through the eyes (if you're doing self-healing, then simply sit or stand in front of the mirror for about 10 minutes and look yourself in the eyes).

This is a great way to learn to see auras and also might give you a glimpse into either a past life or maybe spirit guides.

So having just finished my Reiki session, I went over to a mirror and started simply staring at my image, of course by sending Reiki at the same time (having put the intent and prayer into it).

At first nothing happened, however soon after I've started to see my aura really clearly. I've always been able to sort of see auras, more of a milky shade around the head than anything else. Now, that milky shade became crystal clear, focused and very bright. It was not a light-ish color but a strong sharp yellow around my head and shoulders. Sometimes above my head it was extending, depending on how I was focusing on my image. Towards the end, on one side of my heard the aura became so sharp, it actually broke my connection - it was amazing! Never saw anything like it, like a laser beam!

Another thing I"ve noticed was that at some point my face started to morph - my eyes became different (almost scary - like the eyes of a man, not a woman) and my mouth became much thinner, downwards slanted. Totally spooky

That was definitely something I just had to write down because I've really never experienced anything like it before. I guess the fact that I just did Reiki on myself before enhanced me seeing the aura. The chi energy must have flown in me like crazy.

What I feel right now? I feel very calm (well except the tiny excitement due to the mirror experience) and relaxed - also a bit energized. It's almost 9 pm so hopefully I can sleep tonight :-)

Before you start meditating, you need to quiet your mind, to prepare your mind for it. You can't just sit down and enter a state of zen, no matter how long you've been meditating.

One thing to do before anything else is sit down and think what do you really like. I mean do you like music, do you like to read or you like to simply close your eyes and let your mind wander around. Or maybe you like to actually do something physical that doesn't require any brain work.

I love music very much, especially relaxation, meditation music. Enya is one of my favorites, but I am also strongly drawn to Reiki music. So I make sure that I am alone at home, put on the CD with the music of my choice, sit down, make sure that I am in comfortable clothing - no jeans while meditating! -, and start listening to the music.

Try to avoid heavy music with a strong beat because that will excite your mind and keep it busy instead of letting it relax the right way before meditation.

When I am in the mood, I like to light a few scented candles around me and dim the big light. Then I sit down and start to relax. Not to meditate yet, just to relax.

Sometimes it takes a while to stop the chatter in my mind. That's ok. It takes as long as it takes. The mind needs to have its thing told out, so don't try to cut it short. What you can do in this case is simply start slowing down the mind chatter before you even sit down for meditation, while going about ending your other business.
One way to do it is simply listen to others instead of doing all the talking at the dinner table. Just listen and be silent. After a few attempts, you will notice that your brain follows suit. It slows down its constant chatter in your mind. It doesn't stop it, as in normal circumstances it cannot stop it, but it doesn't overwhelm you with everyday worries, thoughts, chit chat and naggings. It listens, just like you.

By starting the meditation the right way, you will gain much more benefits of meditation that if you simply sit down and say to yourself 'now i will meditate'.

That's what I heard today when I was in Focus 10. I had a rather easy session, no major hickups, no swallowing urges. I got relaxed, calm and today I followed again my 'story line' into getting to Focus 10. It seems that Frank was right, one gets better results when imagining a storyline to get to Focus 10 instead of simply listening to Monroe's voice. The last few sessions I disrupted the pattern and simply did what Monroe said, but it wouldn't work that well.

I didn't see any 3D blackness, I had no vibrations or anything, I simply had my body very relaxed. I clicked out 1-2 times and came back very fast. At some point while being in a green meadow with 'lush green grass' as they say it, I heard a man's voice saying 'the movie didn't happen' (or that movie, or this movie', I'm not quite sure). It's like I was having a talk with that person and he was telling me in conversation. Then I focused my awareness again on being in that green grass. I felt I was really there, it was a great feeling. I'll have to explore that green valley or meadow when I'm doing the exercise again, it seems like a nice place to start the exploration from.

A couple of days ago I've read on the Astral Pulse forum about a sleeping mask made by Mindfold that helps really when you want to do the exercises during the day and the light goes through the eyelids. You can purchase it at the Mindfold website for $20 I think but I found it at around $10 at Amazon so I bought it. I've just checked some Amazon reviews and some people were complaining that they can't sleep with it. Well it's for meditation and relaxation mostly, and for that it seems to be perfect.

Anyway I bought it and today it came in the post. Came quite fast actually. So this afternoon, sitting at my computer desk, I put the mask on, put also the headphones on (I wonder how I was looking with all these things on my head) and I started again the same Intro to Focus 10 tape. I'm going to be at it for a while until I really can easily slip into Focus 10 before I progress.

First of all about the mask. It's very comfortable, it has a foam padding so it lays nicely over the face. Plus it has two holes for the eyes so you can even have your eyes open and it still works. I've tried and and it's pitch black in there! I did close my eyes after a while simply because I'm used to having my eyes closed when meditating.

At first everything went pretty much as usual, regular relaxation (lots of swallowing impulses, I can't seem to get rid at times at these impulses but they say it's normal). Towards the end though, while I was enjoying being in the Focus 10 state I started actually looking at the blackness and noticing what I saw. At some point I saw something towards the bottom part of my reach with my eyes closed a darker black than the regular black so I focused on it. I was actually surprised that there was something blacker than black since the Mindfold gave me true blackness during the session. But there it was like a small lake in the middle of the vast land. So I started focusing on it more and at some point it's like it grew bigger and I had a feeling like it exploded suddenly and it became huge, pushing everything else aside. It was only me and that blackness in front of my closed eyes.

I started to see lots of white worm type things moving all over the place. Last time I experienced something similar there were many tiny stars. Now I saw whitish worms (unghhh) everywhere. I suddenly had a feeling of depthness, it was all no longer flat. I could still feel my body so I knew I was not relaxed enough however I felt that if I were, I could have easily jumped into that deep black right in front of my eyes.

However this happened towards the end of the session, just before Monroe started to count back from 10 to 1 so this was very short. But it was very different from the regular blackness I saw all the time through my closed eyes, and it was similar to the second Gateway session from a little while ago. Wow that was such a great feeling, I want it again! Was this the 3D blackness that everyone is talking about?

During the afternoon I used the Discovery intro to focus 10 track and I got deeply relaxed. Early on, maybe because it's been around 1 hours since lunch, I actually felt nauseous and dizzy, but I let the tape go on and went with it. At some point I felt like I had nothing under my right foot and I felt really very relaxed and light headed. Sadly soon after that one of my neighbors started washing his car and put the radio on very loud, so I started to get out of that deep relaxation feeling. I did finish the session but it was uneventful after that.

A bit later on I went to bed to read Monroe's Journeys Out of Body (bought all three of them and they arrived on Friday). I got a bit sleepy in the process, so I put the book aside and simply relaxed. After about 15 minutes I must have dozed off for a few seconds (or minutes) and then I woke up. Right after I started to feel light vibrations - more like tremors in my entire body, it was quite pleasant actually and it very subtle. It lasted for no more than maybe 30 second or so and then it went away. I no longer felt sleepy so I got up.

Just wanted to jot down something in my journal that I've noticed recently. For the last few days since I've started focusing more on the subject of astral projection/OBE, I've started noticing my dreams more - at least the last dream that I have before waking up. On average, I do remember sometimes my dreams, but not always, but what I've dreamed the last 2 nights I remember quite accurately, at least in parts. The dreams are not especially weird, or anything, but they are much more vivid than my previous dreams. Not sure if this actually has anything to do with the fact that my mind is more and more focused with the subject, I read more books on it and when I go to sleep I focus on affirmations that I will remember my dreams and that I will become lucid during dreaming (the second hasn't happened yet).

Even if there are no major breakthroughs yet, something is definitely moving in the right direction, I can feel it through all these small signs. I know I'm far away from anything major yet, but practice does make perfect, and while unfortunately nothing really comes easily to me (I really have to struggle in most areas of my life to 'get there'), I can say that with hard work, I usually do. I've been pretty unhappy during the last couple of years at my dayjob and finally in December I managed to leave. Now I'm working for myself from home, as self-employed. It's not easy, but I do see an increase in my earnings every month. And this is just one aspect of it all. When I put my mind to it, I can learn it and I've proved it over and over to myself. So now, all I need is to simply keep at it without losing interest, and sooner or later I will succeed in having my first astral projection.

I had a few more Introduction to Focus 10 sessions during the last few days, however there was nothing special to report. I know it's early to have any big headways in this. I was always in bed with the headphones on. Today I tried it again like I used to one year ago, sitting on my chair in my office. For one, I got really deeply relaxed. I clicked out a few times.

During one of those click-outs, a woman put a spoon on one of my hands. As soon as I clicked back in, I physically felt the cool touch of the spoon on that spot. That was quite interesting and different experience. I had that feeling for a while until it actually disappeared. Otherwise it was, again, a regular session whereby I simply felt myself deeply relaxed.

Another thing I'm trying when I go to sleep is learning to see the hypnogogic images that are usually happening before falling asleep in a dream. I'm reading an ebook by Donald DeGracia called Astral Projection Class on Compuserve, it's a free pdf that is makes it really easy to understand many things about astral projection, OBE and lucid dreaming. Why is it that many times the free books are more useful than those were we pay heavy money for them?
Here is the ebook (it's a pdf so you need Acrobat Reader to open it) if you're interested in reading it. I highly recommend it!

Well look like that heavy black wall with many white stars that I wrote about it in my last post was actually no wall, but the proverbial 3D blackness that one experiences as a part of the phasing process. I've read more about it at the Astralpulse forum and I didn't realize before that this is what I've just experienced the other day.

On one hand it was truly beautiful, so different from anything else I've 'seen' with closed yes, but on the other hand, I wanted so bad to get back to my 'vision' on the beach, instead of actually trying to phase into this blackness. Had I known then that I could have...oh well, I'm sure it will happen again...So it seems it's not a wall, it's something that you could actually enter...

This is the post by Frank that describes it so well.

I had the home to myself this afternoon, so around 7 pm I had a second session with the Introduction To Focus 10 track. Now I used pretty much the same technique as I started with today on visualizing a case scenario with the butler and all. It almost went the same as earlier today, with a major and startling difference. Somewhere in the middle, when I had to relax my legs I think, under my left eye the skin started itching very strongly, but so strongly that it was unbearable, so I effectively had to use my hand to massage it lightly.

I then went back to relaxation and this is when the weird thing happened. Suddenly I felt like I had a door closed on me. I was immediately aware of my own eyes which were seeing a strong blackness with thousands of white tiny stars in front of me, like a heavy black curtain with many small white points on it. I was trying to break through that black veil to get back to my place but I could not. It was like that veil was a heavy door and I could not go through it. I was trying to see through it, to see my 'scene', but I could not. All I could see was that heavy black curtain with the million many white little dots, or stars. It was a very weird sensation but it was also beautiful to be aware something like that. Eventually I relaxed my body a bit more and then gradually I started to 'see' the scene where I was supposed to be, at first as if from far away, then I got 'in' the scene, so eventually all went back to normal and I completed the exercise without further problems.

This was completely different from simply having woken up from a meditation session. My eyes were closed, and I was still 'out there'. I just could not get to my 'place' due to a black wall with many many white tiny stars. It would have been actually freaky if I weren't that fascinated with this particular experience.

I've read yesterday a lot about Frank's phasing technique at the Astralpulse forum, and I've changed during my session today my technique. So instead of simply listening to Monroe's voice and imagining whatever he was saying, I was actively creating a space of my own with a full fledged start from the beginning into getting to focus 10 and running back to my energy conversion box.

I deviated slightly from the way Frank was doing it, and I need to learn to time everything based on the voice but so far the experience was great. I didn't doze off into the lala land so often like the last time, I was pretty much conscious all the time (I think my mind wandered off only 2-3 times when I was jolted back by Robert's voice) and everything seemed much better this time. I even have a butler called Stephen whom I give my physical garment to place in the box and then closing the box when I leave from there.

I can't put my finger onto what happened, but I enjoyed this time the experience much better. And towards the end my fingers and arms and part of my body really started prickling and tingling. The whole thing was like I'm here, and yet I'm not. I'll start using this technique from now on for getting into and being in Focus 10 when listening to the tape.

I've just pondered upon a major difference between working with the Gateway CD and any other regular meditation track, be it guided or free. When I usually meditate, be it with the Dick Sutphen CD, or the Om, or anything else, I do enjoy it, as I like meditating. However many times I feel like I have to do it, and throughout the session I catch myself thinking about 'when is the tape over, is it much left yet'? And sort of relieved when the 20 minutes or so are over.

Here, on the other hand, I can't wait to start every time, and even though it's a full 37 minutes track, every time I listened to it so far, I had this feeling that it's too soon over and I wanted to be still there, wherever I was, and not come back so soon. This was pure enjoyment, meditation felt more like enjoyable work, something that I would feel guilty if I didn't do.

I'm not sure why I feel this difference, but there I have it, and that's one reason why I'll continue with this for now instead of going back to regular meditating.

Yesterday was a really impossible day for practicing with the Hemi-Sync Cd. I have a neighbor who moved recently just above us so he was hammering and drilling exactly on top of my room. But I said I would give it a try nevertheless.

So I went to the bed, with the laptop on and headphones on (they do cover my ears fully but I can still hear everything in the outside world - anyone knows of a really good set of headphones that dumb down the external noise?) and I started the second track in the Wave I CD. I'm going to stick with this track until I perfect getting and staying in Focus 10. Only then I will move to Focus 12. I feel that getting a real astral projection is a long way ahead...

Anyway back on track, I was curious to see what results I get - if any - despite all the hammering from upstairs. Well at first I couldn't really concentrate (or relax actually) but eventually I found myself going from dream to dream - only Monroe's voice was getting me out of these when we was speaking again. He was basically jolting me out of these. It's funny how I slipped into this dream state at least 5 times during the 35 or so minutes...By the time the exercise was over, I felt like only 10 minutes passed and there he was, counting from 1 to 10 to get me back to the normal state. How did I lose track of time so far and so often? I was not even tired...This for sure was a different experience from what I felt the day before doing the same exercise...

I remembered I have the Gateway HemiSync CDs somewhere around and I've decided to start the training again. Afterall, I really feel that I had most success with these tapes than with any other meditation tapes or CDs that I listened to.

While earlier on I used to listen to the CD sitting on my chair (in my office at home where I also work every day), now I've decided to try something else. I went to the bedroom and put the CD in the laptop and listened to Discover #2 (Introduction to Focus 10) lying down in bed. It's about 35 or so minutes, I was alone, so I knew I would not be disturbed. And I also wanted to see how it is to be lying down while entering the Focus 10 state.

One thing I've realized afterwards is that I got much more relaxed and much 'deeper' than when I do usual meditation based on Dick Sutphen or somebody else. This feeling of mind awake / body asleep is totally relaxing and I welcome it fully. At some point I was not even sure how I was positioned in the bed, and I had the distinct feeling that one of my hands is actually turned inwards, in a funny position, whereas it turned out that it was not.

I had the window open and a strong rather cold was entering the room, plus I realized that I had the sound too loud, so I will know better next time. But all in all, I think I will give the Gateway Experience another shot and this time I hope I will stick with it. Also another feeling that I've noticed was different from my regular meditation sessions...usually when I open my eyes and I start moving around the room, I still feel a bit dazed, and I need to center to get back into the 'nromal'. Now, on the other hand, when I had to open my eyes and be wide awake, I truly was. It was as if nothing had happened in terms of 'aftereffects' of the session. I just felt great.

Hm, re-reading what I wrote after my first session over a year ago with the same track, I guess I felt pretty much the same again...

"After finishing the exercise, I also felt fresher, not as sleepy and drowsy as I usually feel after regular meditation. Now if this is a good or not so good sign, I have no idea."

So it seems that my previous Gateway experience journal is about to be reopened again and I'm really looking forward to my experiences in the process.

A few years ago when I was trying out various things related to spirituality, wanting to see auras was one of them. I got as far as seeing my own whitish halo over the head or a white line when I put two opposite fingers together and tried slowly to move them apart (try this exercise as well, it's the easiest to see a first glimpse of the aura!).

But then life got in the way, other things took priority I never tried anymore. Until now. Yesterday to be exact. I was lying in bed with one one hand outstretched and was trying to see the aura around my fingers. At first there was again the usual milky halo over the fingers, but then eventually I started to see colors as well. Very faint ones, a bit of yellow, just a tad bit of red, but as if really washed out. I guess I got so excited from having seen this that I could not do it again after that before turning off the light and going to sleep.

And tonight, while relaxing in a bubble bath, I tried again to see the aura around my outstretched fingers. Nothing spectacular happening there, so I gave up. Later on I went in a room with a big mirror on the wall, and well rested and relaxed from the bath, I decided to see if I can spot the aura around my head. I haven't done this exercise in years. However the white halo came with extreme ease and even after I blinked it was there. And I know it was the aura, as when it's just an aftereffect of blinking, when you move your head, the 'halo' remains in place. Whereas here it moved along with my head. And then I started to see the milky halo becoming slightly bigger, and it turned to a sort of pale green, yellow with a very narrow strip of darker blue at the edge. Again, I got excited, and that was it. But it was enough to prove to myself that I can do it. And do it again I will!